I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
