fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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