Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
