The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
