i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
