god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize