Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Randomize
