found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize