Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I think i peed on brittanys purse
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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