everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
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He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
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Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
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