Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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