think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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