I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Randomize
