i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
