Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
im on a boat
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