just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
