I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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