Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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