My girlfriend figured out who you are.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
