How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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