if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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