Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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