Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I need water and some morals
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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