New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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