I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
