I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
