Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
