i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
MIDGETS
????
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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