We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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