Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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