So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
