i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
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All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
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also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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