U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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