I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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