she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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