You're a womanizer and a bitch.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Randomize
