if i died would you start the facebook group?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
