I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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