Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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