the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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