what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
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you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
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Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
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