You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
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