That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
do nipples grow back?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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