you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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