she was so not down for the gang bang
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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