It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Drunk is a universal language darling
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
