I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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