I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize
