im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
