Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
