At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Randomize
