He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
