I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I think a kid would responsible me up
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize
