We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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