im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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