And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
there is puke in my bra ... again
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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