I'm gonna have a badass scar
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize